This Generation’s Disposable Dating in an Online World

Can online dating lead to this?


There was a time when people took care of the things they had.

They got down and dirty with cars and fixed them. They didn’t have to hire anyone to mend their fence outside their yard, they would do it themselves. Times have changed and with the help of the internet everything, literally, in the world has become easily accessible. Things became easier to acquire and people grew lazy. Over time people obtained the latest cell phones and grabbed a new one yearly regardless if had pretty much the same specs as the year before. Instead of fixing cars they started leasing and switched few years. Gone is the days of people driving cars around that they had since the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s.  The problem with all of this is our disposable tendencies have started to translate to how we treat people.

“The problem with all of this is our disposable tendencies have started to translate to how we treat people.”

With the invention of digital apps like Tinder and Bumble meeting people didn’t require leaving your house. No more doing the rounds at your local bars were needed to potentially find the love of your life. Blind dates are way more vetted now. Now you can stay in watching Netflix and swipe your life away. This isn’t a knock at either dating app, or Netflix for that matter, because there is much success in them but this is a knock on people using the app. You see, it is easy for people to swipe left or right. Left for not interested or right for interested. If the person you swipe interested on does the same to you, you match! It’s a wonderful thing except this is when problems can arise.

Back in the day when dating was simpler people would go out, meet people and strike up conversations while trying to impress the individual they are conversing with. With today’s messaging in the dating apps people are forced to walk on eggshells. Say the wrong thing? Unmatch. Take too long to reply? Unmatch. Getting ready for the date that you two set up for that night? Unmatch. This ‘ghosting’ as it’s called has started affecting the dating world for the worst. You could talk for a week or so, exchange nudes then a week or so late never talk with that person again. People are so used to going through objects that this has translated to human interaction.

Unmatched?

Dating on these apps have changed the game forever and honestly it doesn’t look like it is going anywhere anytime soon. Maybe being too reminiscent of the ‘good ol’ days’ is affecting people in a way they didn’t think it would. As a gentleman trying to talk to a girl you used to have to call her home phone, ask her parents if she was available to speak (pray it wasn’t her father), make sure it wasn’t pass 9 pm and have an entirely polite conversation with the potential of her folks listening on the other end. Oh, the nostalgia! There were levels to dating but now that everything is easier you go directly to the source as quickly as possible. You can communicate directly with people you match with immediately. No hour is off limited because even if they don’t respond right away the potential for them to get back to you keep us on the edge of our seats or completely phase-less.

“Pray it wasn’t her father!”

On top of the a having a disposable mind set people are talking to way more people than every. There are people who have thousands of matches. At that point what is the process for even vetting out the people you may like and not like? How can you strike up meaningful conversations with that many people? The truth is you probably can’t. This brings us back to why people are constantly walking on eggshells. People know that they are just a number in your dating catalog and at any moment they can be replaced and most times they are replaced without even knowing about it.

Another problem that has risen is the idea of people’s intentions. There are people who want meaningful relationships that last and there are others who would just like FWB while others are completely unsure what they are looking for. This among, other problematic social situations that have been amplified, have led to a much confusion in the dating world. The way you message or approach one person could totally blow up in your face when trying to message someone completely different. It is sometimes hard to gauge where people are at with their intentions which can make it difficult for people to move successfully through this new dating realm.

Ever get that cute “You up?” Message at work?

The other problem with dating becoming such a disposable concept is it still doesn’t translate to connections outside of the internet. Insufficient effort in people skills do not work well outside of the realm of the internet dating world, you still need people skills to an extent or you come off like an uneducated plebeian. Although technology has made everything easier including the ordering of food and getting rides to your various destinations there is still a certain degree of human interaction needed and the fear is having the next generation not having the necessary people skills or will to obtain them in the first place. We as a society are already completely buried in our phones even while driving that has lead to thousands of car accidents. What will the future hold for us, we, the digital nomads?

The problem with the future is nothing is certain. We have no idea how dating will evolve in the near nor distant future. So for now we are stuck in this little bubble until people start putting their phones down and look up. The thing is the world is big and there are people out there who are will not be accessible through their phone. Is there a total solution to the new problems that have been created with dating? Probably not, well at least not as of yet. Maybe there is a glimmer of hope down the road that hasn’t shown itself yet. Here’s to that.

Have you had trouble during your online dating experiences? Drop us a line and let us know!

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Categories: Arts & Ideas

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